I am an introvert. My husband is an introvert. All three of my children are extroverts. Well played, God. Well played.
Homeschooling as an introverted mom can be exhausting. You might long to send your children to public school just to get some peace and quiet. Don’t give up. There are ways to carve out some quiet and keep your sanity. Here are 7 fabulous tips for the introverted homeschool mom.
Are you an Introvert?
I am an introvert. If you are an introvert, you might resonate with these descriptions.
- I want to have my coffee first thing in the morning before anyone talks to me.
- I am perfectly happy staying home all day long and not going anywhere. With just my three people, I am often peopled out by the time we make it to bedtime.
- Although I love talking about important ideas, talking to people can be exhausting. I prefer talking to one or two friends rather than attending a large party.
- Introverted moms take their kids to homeschool co-op but are exhausted at the end of the day.
- An introverted mom’s idea of a good time is an afternoon curled up with a good book and kids that are playing quietly.
Does this sound like you? Are you an introverted homeschool mom?
The introverted homeschool mom challenge
Our challenge as introverted homeschool moms is that we are surrounded all day long. Although we are surrounded by our favorite people – they are will us everywhere. When we go to the bathroom, they are there. When we take a shower, they come to us with the fight they are having with their sibling. When we go for a car ride, we get to listen to them. Rarely do our children sit still & quiet while diligently studying for the whole morning in silence. Ha!
At my house, I am constantly telling them to get back to work. No, you don’t need to make yourself more tea. Sit down and finish your math first. What is taking you so long in the bathroom? Quit stalling and get back to work. The youngest one doesn’t have as much to do and is constantly pestering his sisters while they are working. Then, there is the actual teaching time. With three students, there is a lot of talking over the course of the day.
All the teaching, talking, and keeping all the household management plates spinning can be exhausting. What can an introverted homeschool mom do to manage her energy and stress each day?
Introverted Homeschool Mom Tip #1 Identify as an Introvert
Each person is unique and wired in a special way. As parents, we need to help our children understand how they are wired by God.
Tell your children that you are an introvert and what that means. Explain to them that God may have wired you differently than He wired them.
It might be too early to tell which of your children are introverts and which are extroverts, but they can understand that things that they like might not be the same things that you like.
Introverted Homeschool Mom Tip #2 Communicate in Language Your Kids Understand
I need peace and quiet when I first get up. I like to get moving and think through my day. I get a cup of coffee. Then, I start talking. My extroverted children seem to start moving their mouths before their feet even hit the floor.
To get the quiet I need, we have a code phrase in our house. I tell them: “Mommy’s ears haven’t woken up yet.” They know that this means that I want to listen to them, but I just can’t yet. If they can give me a little time, then we can get started with the talking for the day.
In the evening, my husband and I have another code phrase. We tell them: “Our ears are tired.” After a day at work for my husband, he too is talked out. The challenge is that our children want to talk to him and he wants to talk to them and to me. Yet, it is as if we are at the end of our quota of words for the day. My children know that when our ears are tired, we still love them but they need to get to the point and succinctly tell us what they want to say.
Introverted Homeschool Mom Tip #3 Let Music fill the Void
Ironically, when I add some soft background music to our day – my kids are actually quieter. There have been mornings where everyone seems to be fussy and loud with one another. I can put the local Christian radio station on and it is almost like a wave of calmness goes through the house. The music seems to meet the sensory needs of my extroverted cherubs but in a way that soothes my senses too.
Introverted Homeschool Mom Tip #4 Lock the Bathroom Door
Your kids are not going to die if they can’t see you for five minutes. Turn on the exhaust fan. Pull out that stash of medicinal chocolate. Enjoy some peace and quiet. They will learn eventually to leave you alone. Just ignore them.
You are still a good mom. In fact, you will be a better mom because you had a timeout!
Sometimes as introverted homeschool moms we are tired from doing too much. Is that you? Check out “Just Say No for Homeschool Moms.”
Introverted Homeschool Mom Tip #5 FOB is Your Friend
F.O.B. can mean several things. I first learned in at church camp where it meant Flat On Bunk. It can mean Feet on Bed. Free time on Bed. The point is to have a designated family quiet time.
Train your children early and never stop the tradition. In this chaotic, technology-intensive world – everyone needs some quiet downtime. We need time to think, reflect, and pray.
DO NOT USE THIS TIME TO DO CHORES! Yes, I am looking at you homeschool mom. Use this time to put your feet up, read a book, or even set a timer and take a nap.
Introverted Homeschool Mom Tip #6 Establish an Effective Bedtime Routine
At the end of the day, we are worn out. When we are tired, we are more likely to be cranky and angry. We don’t want to be angry with our kids right before they go to bed. We need to manage our energy over the course of the day so that we have enough energy to finish strong. You need evening quiet and your kids need sleep. Work together with your spouse to find an effective routine.
You need a solid a firm bedtime for your kids because you are more than just an introverted homeschool mom. You are a child of God and you are a wife.
You are a child of God. You need time to just be. God loves us not for all that we do but just for who we are. We need time to rest. We need time to do the activities that renew our spirits and express our gifts. Maybe like to paint, to write, or to knit. Maybe we love to study history or a language. You are not selfish to spend time uncovering the passions that God has given you.
Introverted Homeschool Mom Tip #7 Save Energy for your Marriage
You are a wife. Our marriage comes first. At the end of the day, if we have spent all of our energy on our kids, then we have no energy left for our spouse. Talking and touching can seem like too much when we have talked and snuggled with our children all day long.
Yet, our children will someday grow up and leave for homes of their own. We made a commitment to our spouses first and our relationship with them is the foundation of our marriage.
Our children are blessed when their parents have a strong and healthy connection. I promise your husband will be thrilled that you took a nap or locked yourself in the bathroom if it means he gets some of your valuable attention.
Hope for the Introverted Homeschool Mom
Life as an introverted homeschool mom is full and loud, but it is so worth it! God created you as an introvert and He called you to homeschool. He knew what he was doing.
God didn’t call you to be superwoman. Pace yourself. Take time to nurture and care for yourself. Take time to be still and know that God is God. Use these tips to enjoy your family and your homeschool days with some more peace and quiet.
Are you an introverted homeschool mom? What helps you manage your day?
Are you a homeschool mom? Check out some other articles on homeschooling.
The voice behind FaithfulMotherhood.com is Jyn. She is a veteran homeschool mom of three. More than just a pastor’s wife, she holds a Master of Divinity degree and has served in church leadership for over 20 years. Her passion is equipping parents to live out their calling as the number one faith influencer for their children. She longs to see moms empowered by God’s Word and transferring that love to their children through daily Bible study and family devotions.